How can a show which only had thirteen episodes spawn a feature film? After Joss Whedon’s Firefly was cancelled in 2002, sci-fi fans howled as Fox tore another great show to pieces and created the biggest open wound in the community since NBC forced the Enterprise off the air in 1969. But following in the grand traditions of fanboys long departed, the self styled “Browncoats” aimed to misbehave and refused to let the show head off into the blackness of cancellation. By 2005, decent DVD sales and a fan writing campaign had brought the crew of our favorite Firefly class ship together for another adventure. But sadly, what we got was the worst of all worlds, a movie that is at once generic and esoteric, as well as overdone to the point of being boring.

Having watched the film before I absorbed the series it is based on (which is completely worthwhile addition to any DVD shelf or Netflix account) I returned to the film hoping that having spent some quality time with the cast of characters I would come to appreciate the film and understand the near messianic status it has within the genre. Having experienced the film from both a position of ignorance and fluency with its canon, one has to come upon the terrifying conclusion that this film fails as no other has. The casual viewer will find that they have no idea what is going on through half of the film, as Whedon exposition of character development is non existent. Between the hammed up fight scenes, we are treated to a series of crude brawls and bashed over the head with philosophical monologues to treat these characters as anything other than generic forms filling out the role in another CGI enhanced mess. Having been confused as a causal viewer, this dynamic was nothing short of tragic as a fan, watching the titanic characters of the series reduced to crude caricatures. The down to earth decency of Nathan Fillion’s Mal Reynolds is lost among the too frequent chase scenes and close angle brawls. Indeed, none of the nuanced layered and superbly flawed characters of the show appear to star in this film. Gone is River Tam’s innocent and playful side, as is Simon’s cultured reserve. But equally devastating are the long absences of Shepard Book and Inara from the film, leaving the personality of the ensemble off balance from the harmony the 9 characters created during the series. Serenity may have a shiny new look, but the ship’s heart has been scrubbed.

But the narrative as a whole is where Whedon shows that he can’t make the jump from TV to film. Aside from two unnecessary and poorly explored main character deaths (main characters final battles should never take place off screen or die casually) the whole structure of the Firefly universe comes crashing down by the completely predictable reveal regarding the Reavers. Keeping with the Wild West motif in the series, the Reavers were portrayed as men who had stared into space too long and confronted by the darkness of the human soul had become something inhuman. Terrifying yet profound, this philosophically wondrous subtext is stripped by the film, reducing the Reavers to yet another series mindless zombies created by a failed government experiment. This too undercuts the series narrative regarding the imperious Alliance, as it portrays the them not as the misguided crusaders of the series, but caricatured purple bellied fascist storm troopers. The ambiguous themes of living in a lawless frontier between utter savagery and an altruistic but tightly regulated civilization are blasted away by the superbly rendered climax as the films 28 Days Later and Starship Troopers clash in a dazzling CGI space battle. Without any emotional value in these characters, the space battle is little more than a tech demo.

Adequate performances by Fillion and Chiwetel Ejiofor as the coldly fanatical Operative barely manage to keep the film flying. Although Ejiofor’s performance is decent, hardcore fans would have liked to see another tie in to the series, such as bringing back Jubal Early or the Hands of Blue. Never the less, decent performances can’t make up for the scaled back characters being tossed into a generic plot. Indeed, the generic feel is what undercuts the film, as the lack of characterization is what confuses the casual viewer and disappoints the hardcore fan. This is not the glorious morality play it has been made out to be by internet fandom, it is a high end zombie movie with some of the Whedon charm haphazardly injected into it. These are not the characters we know or would come to love after getting into the series, they are action movie ragdolls as mindless and gray as stereotypical zombies they have to fight off.  For those hoping for the next great adventure, all they will find is a ton of 狗屎.

Plot Summary (Spoilers Follow):

It’s 1989 and Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges), software engineer and CEO of tech giant ENCOM is telling is young son Sam the story of his adventures in the computer world with a heroic program named Tron. Kevin heads off to work, promising Sam to take him to the arcade. But Kevin disappears the next day, leaving Sam orphaned.

In the present day, Sam (Garrett Hedlund) is the controlling shareholding in ENCOM, but has no interaction with the company other than frustrating the board of directors. After uploading the company’s latest operating system to the web, Sam is visited by his father’s friend Alan Bradley (Bruce Boxleiner). Alan received a message from Kevin’s office in his abandoned arcade. Sam arrives and discovers a hidden computer lab, where he is transported inside the computer to The Grid.

Sam is captured and taken to the game arena. After defeating several programs, Sam is matched with a fierce program named Rinzler, who notices that he is not a program, but a user. Sam is taken before the ruler of the Grid, who appears to be his father. However, it is not his father, but a replica program named Clu. Clu nearly kills Sam in a Light Cycle battle before Sam is rescued by Quorra (Olivia Wilde). She takes him to an “off-grid” site where Kevin has been hiding from Clu.

Kevin tells Sam the story of how he became trapped. After creating the Grid, Kevin created Clu to run the Grid in his absence and make the system perfect. However, as the Grid grew, Kevin encounter a group of sentient, self-produced programs called “isomorphic algorithms” (ISOs), which held the potential to unlock mysteries of science, medicine and religion. However, Clu regarded the ISO’s as an imperfection. He executed a coup against Kevin, and defeated Alan’s Tron security program before launching a genocide against the ISOs and banishing Kevin from the Grid.

Kevin believes Clu brought Sam in to open the portal to the real world and lead the two into a trap. However, Sam disobeys his father and on Quorra’s advice returns to the Grid to find a program named Zuse, who can get Sam out to delete Clu. Sam is taken to the End of Line Club, whose flamboyant owner, Castor (Michael Sheen) is revealed to be Zuse. He betrays Sam to Clu’s guards. Although Quorra and Kevin arrive to rescue Sam, Quorra is wounded and Castor steals Kevin’s identity disc. Castor tries to use the disc as a bargaining chip with Clu, however Clu takes the disc and destroys Castor and the Club.

Fleeing on a transport ship, Kevin reboots Quorra, who is revealed to be the last remaining ISO. Their transport unexpectedly docks with a massive warship, where it is revealed that Clu has been reprogramming captured programs to create an army. With Kevin’s disc and the portal opened, Clu and his army can travel to the real world and recreate it according to his idea of perfection.

When Quorra allows Rinzler to capture her as a distraction, Kevin recognizes him as the reprogrammed Tron. Sam rescues her and takes Kevin’s disc. The three then steal a shuttle and head toward the portal, Clu and Rinzler pursuing them with Light Jets. During the battle, Kevin and Rinzler make eye contact, and Rinzler regains his identity as Tron, declaring, “I fight for the users.” He deliberately collides with Clu. However, Clu recreates the Light Jet, while Tron falls into the Sea of Simulation. Arriving at the portal, the three are confronted by Clu. Kevin attempts to reconcile with his program, but Clu beats him and takes the disc on his back, only to find it is Quorra’s. To buy Quorra and Sam time to exit the portal, Kevin reintegrates with Clu, destroying them both.

Back in the basement of the arcade, Sam saves a copy of the grid. He meets Alan, telling him that he will begin working at ENCOM and names Alan chairman of the board. He and Quorra leave the arcade just as a new day begins to dawn.

If, like the author, you had never seen a movie in 3D before, you would think that Tron Legacy would be the perfect film for a first exposure. This movie is amazingly beautiful to look at. The startlingly rendered digital landscapes, blooming with a stunning contrast of light and darkness, combined with the frenzied but elegant digital combat of actors clad in what will become the standard for futuristic wardrobe is a triumph of visual art. It would be no exaggeration to expect this film to receive a number of Oscar nominations for its technical achievements and redefine the look of sci-fi for years. Yet despite all of this, except for the two second scene where Sam is transported to the Grid, the 3D glasses do nothing to enhance the experience. If a movie as graceful to look at as this can’t benefit from that extra dimension, one has to wonder whether Hollywood’s recent fascination with this new technology is misplaced.

Misplaced faith in technology is at the heart of this films story. Given the enormous narrative potential of a journey inside the computer, the story of the film seems to pale in comparison to the genius of its visual representations. Unlike the first film, the environment of Tron Legacy feels less like it is tightly bound to the world of computing and more like a generic dystopia. The connection between users and programs is woefully left unexplored, as are the ramifications of internet culture. Unlike brilliant sci-fi, this movie fails to reflect society back at itself. Instead, we are left with a series of homages to the original movie and a number of other sci-fi classics. Thus, the film seems to skirt being incisive and deep, leaving the viewer craving a little more substance in the plot.

Yet what brings this movie together is the solid acting of the cast. Although at times he seems to be channeling “the Dude” from Big Lebowski, Jeff Bridges gives a masterful performance. His Clu is a noble addition to the pantheon of science fiction villains, at once calculating, manic and at times sympathetic. Bridges’ range as an actor is displayed perfectly by the contrasting role of Kevin Flynn, which seamlessly blends regretful melancholy and self doubt with a lighthearted levity will endear him to viewers. While Garrett Hedlund gives an adequate performance as the strong but insecure action hero, Olivia Wilde’s Quorra breaks the mold from other women warriors of the genre. Although fierce and intelligent, Quorra displays a kind of naiveté and vulnerability that sets her apart from being dismissed as stereotypical eye-candy. Topped off with a funny but threatening exhibition from Michael Sheen as Castor and a warm display from Bruce Boxleitner, the cast will show through the CGI wonderland and transport itself into the viewers hearts.

If the movie lacks the gravitas of a classic, it makes up for it as a solid action movie with an engaging cast of characters. Indeed, this film is a fitting legacy to the original, both in its clever homages and that it too will change the look of science fiction. But more than that, like its predecessor it is a genuinely fun experience. The Light Jet battle in particular will delight and enthrall viewers. This film is a perfect excuse to draw people away from their computer screens and spend a few enjoyable hours at the movies. Indeed, despite some moderate flaws in its creation, this program will serve its users well for years to come.

End of Line.

Plot Summary (Spoiler follow, review continues after picture)

The film opens with Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) lying unconscious on a beach. He is brought into a chamber and questioned by an elderly man, who speaks to him cryptically. The only things found on Cobb were a small spinning top and a gun.

Earlier, Cobb and Arthur (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) are talking to Saito (Ken Watanabe), offering their services as “extractors”. Extractors can enter people’s minds through dreams and retrieve valuable secrets. In fact, Saito is the duo’s target. However, a mysterious woman named Mal (Marion Cotillard) helps Saito disrupt the operation.

The rules of the dreams are explained: Dream worlds are mazes that contain the shared dreamers, all of whom are sleeping under the influence of drugs near each other. Objects in the dream world represent manifestations of the dreamers sub conscious, including other people called “projections” which will seek to drive out intruders. Individuals hurt in a dream experience pain, but death merely causes them to wake. Time is distorted in the dream world: five minutes in the real world translates to an hour in a dream. Things that happen to the person in the real world can effect the dream. For example, if a person gets wet, it will start to rain in the dream. To determine whether they are awake or dreaming, each dreamer carries a small artifact (like Cobb’s top) to test whether the rules of physics are correct.

Having failed to gain information from Saito, the team prepares to flee from the powerful clients who hired them. However, Saito intercepts the team. He was aware of their attempt to break into his mind and was in fact testing their skills for a mission of his own. Saito doesn’t want the team to take information from someone, he wants the team to plant an idea in someone’s mind, a process called inception. If the team is successful, Saito will use his connections to allow Cobb to return to the US, where his children are waiting.

Cobb recruits Eames (Tom Hardy), a “forger” capable of shifting his identity in a dream, Yusuf (Dileep Rao) a chemist capable of creating specialized drugs for the mission, and Ariadne (Ellen Page). Ariadne is a young student who will be the team’s “architect” creating the mazes which will become the dream worlds. As Ariadne trains inside Cobb’s mind, she learns of Cobb’s hidden past: Mal is a projection of Cobb’s deceased wife who continually haunts his dreams.

The inception target is Robert Fischer (Cillian Murphy), the estranged son of Saito’s dying business rival. The team is hoping to seed Fischer’s mind with the idea to break up his father’s empire. To plant the idea, the team will create a three layered dream (a dream within a dream within a dream). However, due to the strong sedative used in the operation, the normal rules of death don’t apply. If a person is killed in this dream, they will be sent into the limbo state: a dream state where the time dilation is so pronounced that a person will seem to experience decades or centuries in a dream state, losing all touch with reality.

The first level of the dream is an urban cityscape. The team kidnaps Fischer, and Eames impersonates Peter Browning (Tom Berenger), Fischer’s godfather, pretending that the team wants information from Fischer. As the team gets into a firefight with Fischer’s projections and Saito is critically injured, they escape in a van and enter the second level. The second level is a posh hotel where Cobb convinces Fischer that Browning is assaulting his dreams to gain information. Convinced he can obtain information from Browning, Cobb tricks Fischer into entering the third level, a military base on a snowy mountain. Here Fischer must break into his own subconscious to discover the idea the team is planting.

As Arthur engages the level 2 projections in a shifting gravity fight and the team confronts an army on level 3, Fischer is killed by Cobb’s projection of Mal. With Fischer in limbo, and Saito succumbing to his wounds, the mission seems to have failed. Moreover, they are running out of time, as predetermined “kicks” (sudden jolts of movement which will wake the sleepers) are about to go off. However, Cobb and Ariadne go deeper to enter limbo and rescue Fischer.

Limbo is a crumbling futuristic city built by Cobb and Mal. Cobb and Mal had entered limbo and seemed to live there for decades within their own created world. However, Mal lost herself in limbo and refused to believe it was a dream. The reason that Cobb knew inception was possible was that he had performed it on Mal to convince her that the world they had built was not real. However, the idea spread like a cancer in Mal’s mind. Convinced that reality itself was a dream, she killed herself in an attempt to wake up and framed Cobb to force him to “join” her in the real world. Wanted for Mal’s murder, Cobb fled. He can’t go home to see his children and holds himself responsible for Mal’s death.

Coming to grips with his guilt, Cobb rejects the Mal projection, and it attacks him. Ariadne shoots Mal and she dies in Cobb’s arms. She rescues Fischer, who wakes on level 3 to come to meet with a projection of his own father which plants the team’s idea. However, Cobb remains in limbo to rescue Saito.

Returning to the opening scene, Cobb speaks with the elderly man (Saito, who has spent many decades in limbo) and tells him that the world is not real and that they need to leave. The kicks in the three levels activate, waking the team up in each respective level.

Cobb and the team wake in the real world. Saito picks up a phone and honors their arrangement. Cobb enters the US and is reunited with his children. Cobb spins the top to test reality, but the children distract him. The top slows and begins to wobble, but the screen cuts to black before it falls.

For a movie to be great, rather than merely good, a lot of different aspects have to blend together seamlessly. The look and sound of the film have to perfectly complement and enhance the actions of the characters, which must, in turn, be wound together flawlessly to create a compelling narrative. Perhaps drawing inspiration from a three level dream, Christopher Nolan demonstrates that he can expertly navigate each level of the creative process. The film’s neo-noir look imbues the film with both elegance and sinister overtones. Much as he did in The Dark Knight, Nolan also shows that he is a master of suspense. Viewers will find themselves genuinely tense at times when little is happening on the screen but a subtle tingle from the soundtrack creeps up their spines. The film is scary without relying on shock and its action scenes are powerful without relying on excessive pyrotechnics or jerky camera effects. In particular, the altering gravity fight scenes are the coolest innovations in fighting since the Matrix introduced us to bullet-time.

The cast, of course, makes this movie shine. DiCaprio was a perfect pick for the role of Cobb, exhibiting throughout the piece a mixture of cool and panic. If that sounds like a contradiction, it perfectly conveys the performance. Cobb is a character desperately trying to control his own guilt and madness. Driven to bitterness by reality, he desperately tries to recreate according to his desires. This masterful performance by DiCaprio is perfectly complemented by Page’s Ariadne, who has come a long way since the unfunny indie concert that was Juno. Her character displays enough brilliance and naiveté to be a charming link to reality rather than an annoying young genius that can instantly solve intractable problems. However, the unsung performance of this film has to be Cotillard’s Mal. Seamlessly shifting from tender warmth to icy resolve to burning fury, Mal is the perfect embodiment of love, fear and hatred. Her outright insanity is a perfect means of bringing Cobb’s emotions out from under his calm demeanor. Murphy’s emotional performance, while less integral to the film, is also solid, as are the great performances from the rest of the team. Each character feels layered, complex and has a role to play without devolving into a caricature.

Some have questioned why the rules of the dream world and their philosophical implications were not more fully explored throughout the film. However, focusing on these misses the point of the film. As the Matrix sequels aptly demonstrated, philosophizing can ruin a film when it is clumsily beaten into the audience’s head. Using visuals to create fantastic realities in the dream world would do little to enhance the film, while getting bogged down in the rules would put it in danger of forcing a deus ex machina. Rather, the dream world represents a setting that is itself fascinating while presenting the perfect arena to explore Cobb’s own attempts to put his own reality back together. This is perfectly appropriate: the setting allows the characters to explore fascinating concepts without driving the plot in and of itself. That Nolan was able to display simultaneous events in three different settings, all of which interact in distinctly unconventional ways, without getting the viewer lost, is also a tribute to his ability as a director.

Thus, while Inception is not a revolutionary film in that it doesn’t redefine the techniques of film making, it is an excellent example of a provocative story built around a set of dynamic characters. Without becoming dragged down in its own complexity, it presents complex ideas to the audience centered in a highly relatable story of madness in the face of loss. Without that brilliance swirling at its base, the film would turn about aimlessly. But firmly anchored, Inception spins a wondrous tale of the darker reaches of the mind.

Plot Summary (Spoilers Follow)

The film opens in Mexico, where Colonel John “Hannibal” Smith (Liam Neeson) is being held captive. Left for dead by a pair of corrupt cops, he escapes into the desert to rescue a fellow Army Ranger, Templeton “Faceman” Peck (Bradley Cooper). En route, Hannibal encounters a disgraced Ranger, Basco B.A. Baracus (Quinton Jackson), and convinces him to aid in the rescue. On the run from the renegade Mexican forces, they stop at an army hospital to recruit H.M. “Howling Mad” Murdock (Sharlo Copley), a mental patient and pilot. Fleeing in a medical chopper, they trick their pursuers into entering American airspace, where the renegades are shot down by the Air Force. This represents the culmination of Hannibal’s elaborate plan.

Eight years later, the team is now a decorated, elite combat unit stationed in Iraq. Hannibal is contacted by CIA Agent Lynch (Patrick Wilson). A group of Iraqi insurgents are transporting a set of US treasury plates being used to make counterfeit currency out of Baghdad. Against the advice of his commanding officer, General Morrison (Gerald McRaney) and Face’s former lover, Captain Sosa (Jessica Biel), Hannibal and the team recover the plates in an unofficial “black” operation. When the team returns to base, the container with the plates and Morrison’s Humvee are destroyed by contractors from the private security firm Black Forest, led by a mercenary named Pike (Brian Bloom). With Morrison dead, there is no record of the mission, and the four are arrested and sentenced to 10 years in prison.

Six months later, Lynch visits Hannibal in prison and reveals that Pike is trying to sell the plates with the help of a mysterious Arab. Hannibal strikes a deal with Lynch: in exchange for recovering the plates, the team will be reinstated with clean records. Lynch agrees and helps Hannibal escape. Hannibal frees Face, BA (who has found religion in prison and refuses to kill anymore) and Murdock. Sosa, convinced the team is in league with Pike, pursues them. While escaping from a German hospital, the team’s aircraft is destroyed by military drones. However, they escape inside a tank with parachutes, using the turret to maneuver.

The team tracks Pike, recovering the plates and capturing the Arab, who is revealed to be General Morrison. Morrison was working with Lynch and Pike to steal the plates, but faked his own death to double-cross Lynch. When Lynch discovers that Morrison is alive, he orders an air strike to eliminate the team. They escape, but Morrison, the only one who knows the team is innocent, is killed.

Desperate, Face comes up with a plan. Hannibal contacts Sosa (knowing she is being tapped by Lynch) and agrees to hand over Morrison and the plates at the LA docks in exchange for his freedom. Face then contacts Sosa on an untapped phone he had given her earlier. Lynch and Pike prepare to trap the team at the docks. Face has anticipated this, and executes an elaborate plan to draw Lynch into the open. However, when Pike uses a bazooka to sink the ship the team is using, the plan nearly falls apart until Pike is killed by BA. Lynch confronts Hannibal and a hooded figure he believes to be Morrison, shooting the figure in the head. Just as it seems as though Lynch has won, the container they are fighting in is lifted, revealing Sosa and a squad of Federal agents. The figure in the hood is revealed to be Murdock in a Kevlar helmet. Lynch is taken into custody, but the team is arrested again for escaping prison. Before he is taken away, Sosa kisses Face. As the frustrated team is taken away, Face produces a key from his mouth, repeating Hannibal’s catch-phrase: “I love it when a plan comes together.”

Anyone familiar with a flip book knows that when you put a series of still pictures together in succession, it can create the appearance of movement and activity. Sadly, this film does not seem to have mastered this basic principle of film making. The overall narrative of the film is incredibly disjointed and the plot is so poorly executed it is impossible to follow. Much of this is due to one critical error: there are three different factions chasing the team. As each of these factions schemes against and chases the others, it is easy to get them confused. Much of the time, the viewer will be trying to figure out who is chasing the team. Why the chase scene is occurring is too frequently a question that is also left unanswered. The villain’s motivations are never explained and their performances suffer as a result. In particular, Agent Lynch is portrayed as an inept bumbler, who will annoy viewers rather than intimidate or scare them. The character is such a pathetic caricature of a corrupt CIA agent that he is not even worthy of the title of comic relief. Biel’s character fairs little better, as it feels like her only role in the film is to look pretty for 90 minutes and kiss the hero at the end.

However, another reason for the film’s scattershot of a plot is that it tries to incorporate too many elements into the story. Viewers will find themselves confronted with an exhibition of clichéd twists: the jilted lovers confronting each other, the senior mentor who is revealed to be a traitor, the second in command taking his mentor’s place. The worst offender is the unnecessary subplot involving BA’s pacifism, which is unconvincing and immediately abandoned after a single lecture from Hannibal. None of these scenes are bound together convincingly into one grand narrative. The latter half of the film feels like watching several mediocre short films.

This is not to say that the film is a complete failure. A few of the individual scenes are good in and of themselves. The opening scene is decently exciting and does an admirable job establishing the personality of each of the four team members. That is where the film shines. The interactions between the four are genuine and often hilarious. While the action half of the action-comedy label is disappointing in the second half, the comedy in the first half of the film is genuinely funny. Face’s cool, quick wit is perfectly complemented by BA’s over the top personality and Murdock’s cartoonish ramblings.  All of this is brought together by a solid performance from Neeson’s Hannibal, whose calculating command provides their scenes with a focus that gave the initial action sequences purpose and direction. While some may criticize the individual characters as one dimensional, together the performances exceed the sum of their parts. These moments of comedic comity make the first half of the film enjoyable.

However, the uninspired series of action movie vignettes loosely attached to the first half lack any of these interactions. The fight sequences at the end of the film are dark and the camera is jerky, leading to a confusing and disappointing final confrontation. The ending is nonsensical and thoroughly disappointing. Pity the fools who sit through this entire movie. But if the viewer is in need of a decent laugh for 40 minutes and nothing else can help, maybe they should hire the A-Team.

The story centers around Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal) an orphan from the slums who is adopted by the king of Persia after he witnesses the young boy’s act of kindness and bravery. Although not of the royal bloodline, Dastan is an integral member of the royal family. He accompanies his older brothers (the elder is the heir to the throne) and the powerful Persian army to the mythical city of Alamut. The king’s brother, Nizam (Ben Kingsley), who is serving as a mentor of sorts to the future kings, lobbys the young princes to invade the city because they were aiding Persia’s enemies.

During the siege of the city, Dastan shows remarkable skill infiltrating the city the biggest reason for Persia’s victory. The ruler of Alamut, Princess Tamina (Gemma Arterton), attempts to hide the mystical secret weapon of their civilization, the Dagger of Time. However, during the hectic final moments of the battle for the city, Dastan comes into possession of the weapon, yet doesn’t realize it’s full power.

Tamina is presented as the husband of the future king, a role she is willing to take only after she realizes that it will bring her closer to the dagger. During the festivities following the victory, Dastan is fooled into presenting a poisoned gift to his father, King Sharaman (Ronald Pickup). Believed to be the assassin, Dastan is forced to flee the city along with Tamina. When Tamina attempts to steal the Dagger of Time back, the weapon she swore an oath to protect, Dastan stumbles upon its ancient power. The holder has the ability to reverse time for up to a minute. After a series of argument, Dastan and Tamina agree to work together to clear the name of the innocent prince and to protect the dagger. On their journey, they encounter enemies and make new friends.Of particular significance is Sheik Amar (Alfred Molina), a gambling boss who has a fetish for his ostriches. Amar serves as some comic relief, similar to Johnny Depp’s Captain Jack Sparrow in Bruckheimer’s Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. He certainly isn’t as funny or as important as Jack Sparrow, yet he lightens the tone of the film and allows for some good laughs.

The journey across the vast Persian Empire is perfect for showing off some incredible visuals. Filmed largely in Morocco, the desserts and vast canyons are breathtaking, and reminded me of John Ford’s classic western The Searchers. Increasing the eye candy, the film is filled with spectacular special effects that create imaginative cities and exciting fight scenes. There are a few homages to the video games, particularly the camera’s movement during fight scenes. The scenes are enjoyable, but at the same time, they don’t revolutionize sword fighting (which, I am fully aware, would be a difficult order to fulfill).

One of the bigger criticisms of the movie by some leading critics (such as Roger Ebert) was that the acting by the leading actors seemed contrived.  Although there are certain lines that seem a little awkward, I found the rapport between Gyllenhaal and Arterton genuine. The beautiful Arterton oozes sensuality and serves as a confident, strong heroine, while Gyllenhaal plays a Peter Parker type of hero (unbelievably strong, yet very self-conscious). While I was pleased with certain elements of the acting, I was surprised with the lack of screen time for Kingsley’s character. Although Nizam is an integral part of the plot, none of his scenes were especially memorable.

When I walked out of the theater, I was expecting to come to some more detracting points from the more obvious ones connected to the storyline. This was a video game movie right? It couldn’t possibly be a good film. However, the more I thought about it, I realized that although Prince of Persia: Sands of Time wasn’t going to join the pantheon of great superhero films that have been released in the last decade, it was an enjoyable ride. Although it doesn’t destroy the notion that video game movies are terrible, it certainly points the genre in the right direction. Simply put, Prince of Persia: Sands of Time is the best movie based off of a video game and an entertaining summer blockbuster.

The movie scored a major coup by having John Cusack, a star of many films of the 1980s, as the lead. By doing so, it allows the audience to ask what happened to the characters like Lloyd Dobler, who were supposed to live happily ever after their eighties exploits. The answer is that they are emotional nightmares, either too clingy or too cowardly or too antipathetic to have an actual successful relationship.

Cusack plays Adam, a forty-year old who can’t keep a girlfriend because he’s too compartmentalized. His friend Lou’s (Rob Corddry) attempted suicide prompts him and his friend Nick (Craig Robinson) to rent a cabin in the ski lodge where they had many fond memories. Along for the trip is Adam’s nephew Jacob (Clark Duke), who plays the straight man to the outrageous Coddry.

"It must be some kind of Hot Tub Time Machine"

When the protagonists arrive at the cabin, the place is in shambles, but that is no worry because a sagely repairman (Chevy Chase) is able to get the titular hot tub running and that’s really all you need for a party. Through a series of accidents, the hot tub transports them back to the 1980s, and that’s when the fun begins. References to many facets of eighties culture (and even contemporary culture) appear left and right- everything from “The Drive” to Michael Jackson is lampooned. The characters provide many humorous situations as they attempt to relive the past in an attempt to keep the future intact. But if Back to the Future has taught us anything, you can’t relive the past in the exact same manner (and to reinforce this fact, Crispin Glover has a supporting role as the hotel’s bellhop).

The only problem with Hot Tub Time Machine was the lack of development of certain subplots. Though the gang references a bad time in Cincinnati that led to a falling out of the main characters, the audience is never shown what exactly happened in the Queen City. Though it can be inferred that Adam did something that cemented his reputation as a self-absorbed jerk, a reveal of the exact incident (like the Albuquerque incident in The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard) does not occur. Thus, Hot Tub Time Machine misses a key opportunity to provide more jokes and more humor.

However, this slight missed opportunity does not detract from the overall quality of the movie. This movie is destined to become a college humor classic with its many quotable lines and funny references. Plus, it’s a movie with a hot tub time machine- what can be wrong with that?

“Big Mike” (Quinton Aaron) is a very big boy. His size and color make him stick out like a “fly in milk” in the homogenous Memphis suburb.  Despite his raising (I use that word lightly as his mother crack addicted mother doesn’t know who he or his father is) Michael is an enormously shy boy. He is the perfect candidate for joining a gang in the inner city and hardly a candidate for the Christian day school a family friend tries to get him to attend.

Michael is an introverted boy who no one really knows much about. His aptitude tests place him at the lowest percentiles in almost every category and many write him off as stupid. However Michael isn’t stupid. He is just a shy boy who trusts no one and is haunted by the events of his childhood.

As previously mentioned, Michael is adopted by a white family and begins to have success. He is given every advantage he never had: clothes, bed, tutors, and more importantly, a loving family. Why are the Tuohy’s doing this? Some people in the community find it hard to understand.  Some friends see it as “white guilt” while others, including the NCAA, sees it as a ploy by the family to get the fabulous football star to go to the Tuohy’s alma mater, Ole Miss.

Leigh Anne Tuohy (Sandra Bullock) is Michael’s biggest supporter. She has the initial idea of helping him by inviting them into their home. Additionally, she tracks down his mother and finally decides adopt him. Her motives aren’t clear at the beginning, but the film frames it within the Christian beliefs of the family. Leigh Anne’s actions are initially pure charity, but in my mind her actions were never selfish, rather she truly wanted to help Michael. Frankly it was a great movie to see to start the holiday season. Its important message could be misconstrued by some as pure propaganda about the inability for blacks to have success in the United States without help. This view is ridiculous and a view without merit. It was a great story made all the better because it is true.

The only problem with the film is some of the acting. While Sandra Bullock and Quinton Aaron’s acting is fair enough, certain other roles are not nearly as good. The younger brother, played by Jae Head, is completely overacted. Although there are some funny lines and situations involving the small boy, he often overemphasized when delivering the lines that made certain sections of the dialogue uncomfortable.

Nevertheless, the movie’s story and message are moving. The Blind Side attempts to give the hopeless hope, and succeeds in doing so. The strength of the story helped me overlook some of the weaker technical elements of the film. I’m sure that you will also be inspired by the young man’s journey.

This summer, studios have expanded the reach of the typical “guy comedy” movie. Movies such as The Hangover have broad appeal due to the affability of their characters, which allows an advertising executive to spin the movie as being about friendship, thereby overshadowing some of the movie’s raunchiest bits.  The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard does not fit in with this expansion. This lack of conformity is why I enjoyed the movie. It is rude, crass, and ultimately hilarious.

Before this review progresses any further, a word of warning: if you do not enjoy blue humor, you will not enjoy The Goods (the title is abbreviated from this point forward in this review because the full title is absolutely asinine). Many people do not enjoy blue humor, which is why The Goods currently has only 27% favorable reviews according to internet aggregator Rotten Tomatoes while the Disney Channel teen comedy BandSlam is “certified fresh” at 80%. Many people are morons as well, all making the same cash for clunkers joke while calling the movie offensive.

Jeremy Piven portrays Don Ready, a fixer for used car lots that have fallen on hard times. His job is to sell cars by any means necessary, and those means increase in absurdity and hilarity as the movie progresses. Assisting him in his goal are Brent Gage (David Koechner), Babs Merrick (Kathryn Hahn), and Jibby Newsome (Ving Rhames). Headlining his first film since 1994’s PCU, Piven uses the overconfident personality that he has developed as Ari Gold on Entourage to ensure a fair amount of laughs. Rhames is on a quest to “make love” (but make no mistake, he has had sex) and consistently delivers some of the best lines in the movie (you’ll never think of James Van Der Beek in the same way again). Unfortunately, Koechner and Hahn fade to the periphery. While each of them deliver quality comedic moments, they either come too infrequently in the case of Koechner or the character disgusts you so much that you don’t want to see her on the screen in the case of Hahn.

They've got The Goods.

Aside from Ready’s team, the movie presents a supporting cast of ridiculous characters, including a xenophobic World War II veteran turned car salesman (Charles Napier), a dealership owner with homoerotic tendencies (James Brolin), the leader of a boy band for men who wants to see the dealership fail so that he can have more rehearsal space (Ed Helms), an unfortunately named DJ who does not live up to his name (Craig Robinson), and his former car sales partner (Will Ferrell in an outstanding cameo role). Piven plays the straight men to these characters and others that I did not mention, and much of the movie’s humor comes from the interaction between them. It is in this regard that I must compliment Neal Brennan, co-creator of Chappelle’s Show and the director of the movie. Because most of the movie is based upon interaction of a plethora of characters, it is essential that there is quality direction. Otherwise, the movie would have meandered through its own jokes.

The best way to describe this movie would be to call it a mile a minute comedy. There is a plot, but the real fun comes from the rapid-fire pace of the one-liners scattered through the movie. In this regard, The Goods resembles last year’s summer breakout comedy, Tropic Thunder. However, while Tropic Thunder only connected on about roughly 60%-70% of its jokes, The Goods connects on 90% of them. While there are many scenes that could be considered extraneous, you don’t mind viewing them because they keep you in stitches.

Was this scene unnecessary? Yes. Did it stop me from enjoying the movie? No.

The only cringe-worthy moments of this movie were when Hahn interacted with Rob Riggle’s character, a ten-year old boy who has a forty-year old’s body due to a pituitary problem. She obviously lusts for him, which is okay in real life, but not when he is supposed to be a ten-year old. Thankfully, this subplot is not pursued for more than five minutes. Otherwise, the movie would have been turned from a comedy to a bad episode of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.

In this era where romantic comedies and bromances have become top earners, I’m glad that there are movies that can deliver the funny from beginning to end. The raunchy comedy is an art form and there is more potential to miss the mark and create a bad film, because there is little story upon which to fall back. For every Old School, there is Miss March and a Meet the Spartans. The Goods definitely belongs with the former, and not the latter.

My latest hopes were poured into District 9: A unique film that joins the talents of unknown (but promising) South African director Neil Blomkamp with well-known epic film connoisseur, Peter Jackson. District 9 tells a story of an alien race that has crash landed on Earth after an important direction module falls from their Mothership. The aliens leave their Mothership hovering over the populated South African City Johannesburg as the occupants descend from their ship in search of parts to restore their ride back home. The film follows the events of the conflict as planet Earth tries to cope with their new neighbors as well as simultaneously attempting to gain information on their advanced weaponry. Despite the promising concept: District 9 only proves to disappoint my expectations as the film constantly prefers to use the sword over the pen. That being said, there’s still some stimulating aspects of District 9, but they never rise above the rest of the crowd.

Wilkus holds up a badge, surely they'll cooperate respectfully

Instead of focusing on what District 9 could’ve been, let’s focus on what is in the film and how that fairs in comparison to its competitors. The narrative storytelling is a hybrid between fake-documentary style of shooting, mixed with the more traditional Hollywood execution. The film flip-flops between fictional interviews with made-up sociologists and news reporters and the standard “camera follows character’s actions” method. At first the jump between both styles is a little disorientating but as the plot continues it begins to favor the later, more straightforward method, making it easier to follow the events of the story.

Whenever people aren’t being interviewed on screen you’re likely to see one of two characters. The first and most prominent is Wikus van der Merwe, an appointed official whose job is to control the Alien occupation situation. The second is Christopher, one of the Alien “prawns” who’s attempting to restore energy back to his personal ship so he can repair the damages done to the Mothership. The two characters’ paths quickly cross over one another, and they soon figure out that they’ll have to work together to achieve a mututally beneficial goal. The problem is District 9 makes the false-assumption that audiences would care more about Wikus, as opposed to the more intriguing and unknown Christopher the alien. The majority of the film is dedicated to Wikus’ story, but you’ll find yourself wondering “When are we going to see Christopher’s side?”

I found the film's level of "awesome" directly correlated with this guy's screen time

However the characters prove to be less than unimportant around halfway through the film. Without spoiling anything, Wikus learns how to use the Alien weaponry, and then the story spirals into a variety of excuses to have firefights and explosions. From the halfway point till the end of the movie, there’s a constant barrage of bullets flying through the air and bodies imploding from extraterrestrial hazardous effects. To be fair to the focus of the film, the action scenes are remarkably well done. The advanced alien technology left the writers to think of a lot of creative ways to blow up the human body. You’ll see a plethora of crazy deaths that will keep you saying “Oh Snap!” even if it’s the tenth time you’ve seen the same execution.

To complement these high energy action sequences, the special effects of District 9 look fantastic. The Alien prawns look lifelike and realistic, and every weapon, mech, and ship looks like its a part of the world. The overall design of every fictional element in the movie is extremely well done; there’s an obvious level of detail that was intended and the efforts of the filmmakers and special effect crew have created one of the most impressive CGI effects in cinema.

Behold: The Mothership

The only inherit problem with District 9 is the expectations it may have set up. The first half sets up a lot of questions that you’ll assume will be answered in the second, but they never are. We never learn anything more about the Aliens than what we knew at the start, how they act, if they have social classes, how they reproduce, or even their basic anatomy. It might be a little bizarre to demand answers to all of these questions, but it’s more bizarre to leave every single question posed unanswered.

These complaints are specific to the type of person you are. So as long as you go into District 9 expecting a popcorn flick with stellar effects and impressive explosions, you’ll enjoy every second of the build up to the climax. It saddens me that District 9 wasn’t able to exalt the genre back into greatness (or at least create an interesting fictional alien race), but that’s a poor reason to look back on a film unfavorably. It might not be the latest and greatest creation in the Sci-Fi genre, but that doesn’t make it crap either.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is one of the most uninspired films I have seen in the past couple of years. Throughout the 118 minute showing I found myself constantly shaking my head and wanting to leave the theater. The beginning of the film was painfully slow while the end seemed to be a Star Wars rip-off with a horrible coat of paint. I wasn’t expecting a movie based on popular toys to be an Oscar winner but the film lacks almost any imagination. The action sequences are entertaining at points but they are few and far between and don’t save this disastrous mess of a movie.

The “Joes” are a multinational task force headed by Gen. Hawk (Dennis Quaid). These elite soldiers use weapons and technologies that would probably impress young boys playing with their toy counterparts, but are less amusing to everyone else.  They are at the whims of the United States government but yet they remain secretive as not even the president is fully aware of the secret project.

The first part of the movie is almost unbearable to watch because it is weighed down by unrelated and uninteresting information about the antagonist. The film beings “in the not too distant future” where there is a new era of peace and understanding. This is all threatened by a maniacal Scotsman, McCullen (Christopher Eccleston). The film includes an inordinate amount of information about the antagonist’s family history, a large factor in the film’s dreadful opening. The first scene is of McCullen’s ancestor being tortured for treason by the French, an event that has driven him to try to take over the world.

McCullen has spent time and money developing a weapon called “nanomites” with the help of the disfigured scientist known as “The Doctor”. This new weapon eats through metal and destroys cities and cannot be stopped unless it’s aborted via a remote.  In a bizarre and idiotic plot development, McCullen’s company sells the weapon to the United States military and then steals it back to use on countries around the world. Of course this very action allows the Joes to know there is a plan in motion and leads to the megalomaniac’s downfall.

Two army buddies, Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans), are part of the convoy delivering the new weapons. During the process they are attacked by mysterious soldiers clad in armor and a sexy-vixen, who is also Duke’s ex-fiancé. They are only saved by the Joes who then admit them into the group to save the world from the impending disaster.  Through an entirely over-extended series of sequences the movie shows their training and explores specific Joes’ history. McCullen’s back story was really unnecessary and the intertwining nature of everyone else’s personal journey is more mindless nonsense.

G.I. Joe is an action movie. However, for some reason it takes the film a good hour to get into any sort of special effects driven action sequences. Most movie goers will see this movie (something I am not suggesting) only to see action scenes with big explosions, yet they hardly appear in the first half of the movie. When we finally get to the battles for the fate of the world, they are painfully silly.

Underwater?Space?

McCullen’s plan was to launch missiles with the nanomites at Moscow, Washington D.C. and Beijing from an underwater lair in the Arctic. When the Joes finally arrive to stop them, hilarity ensues. This of course was not on purpose, but the ridiculousness of the ending battle makes you laugh so as to not cry. Let me set the scene for you:

• The bad guys are in an underwater base that looks like it’s in space.
• This station has a giant canon that is whipping out attacking Joes in underwater craft.
• Joes infiltrate the base and disarm the cannon by disguising themselves as the armored foot soldiers.
• Two ninjas fight with katanas aboard the station near an electrified bottomless pit
• The real bad guy emerges in a mechanical mask which makes him breathe heavily and speak deeply.

Does this sound familiar? It should because it is almost exactly the sequence of events that occur during Star Wars: A New Hope. In that film there is a super weapon (the Death Star) that is infiltrated by rebels disguised as foot soldiers and is home to a light saber battle and to a heavy breathing, deep speaking, masked evil genius, Darth Vader.

Jedi Battle...er...Ninjas

The final battle was unbelievably unoriginal and completely unsatisfying. Unlike in Star Wars the special effects were cartoon like and the outcome did not garner any of the same jubilation. Needless to say, the evil plot is foiled, the guys get the girls they were going after, and they left the ending open for a sequel. God help us all.