“We Are the World: 25 for Haiti” Review
The sequel is an interesting phenomenon in entertainment. Sometimes, a work is created that exceeds the original work (such as Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade or The Godfather Part II). More often, though, the work is an uninspired rehash that attempts to recreate the glory of the first one but with none of the magic (such as The Matrix Reloaded or Ocean’s 12). Sometimes, though, the work is so atrocious that it is unfathomable why anyone decided to make it. Was there a compelling need for Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo or Weekend at Bernie’s II?
The supergroup charity single is also interesting. On the one hand, there are classics like “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” and “We Are the World”, anthems that defined the eighties and promoted hunger awareness and AIDS awareness in Africa, respectively. One the other hand, there are some songs that are so bad they do a disservice to the cause being promoted. Listen to the 2001 remake of “What’s Going On” and the only thing you’ll notice is that Fred Durst was once popular. Listen to it again and you’ll realize why he isn’t popular; he actually rapped “But everyone wanna live/Don`t nobody really want to die/You feeling me right?” Unfortunately, “We Are the World: 25 for Haiti” will not be remembered as fondly as the original and will serve as an example of everything that was wrong with music in the first decade of the new millennium (Yes, I know we’re in decade two, but it’s two months in. I’m rounding down).
The original - and still the best
First, there is no need for a will.i.am-penned hip-hop breakdown. The song is an unmanageable eight minutes in length. Charity single or not, there are only so many times that we can be told that we are the world and the children before it gets redundant. The hip-hop breakdown at the end of the song creates two problems. The first is that it artificially lengthens the song past an acceptable level. The second is that it allows for people that have no business being on this record a chance to sing. The guy featured on the latest Jay-Z single, Swizz Beatz, and the guy that has one song that I like to play at parties, Iyaz, close a song that features the legendary Tony Bennett and the outstanding Celine Dion. What a joke.
Second, the decision to shun everyone from the original record is asinine. The opening line, which was sung by the indelible Lionel Richie, a man already famous for his work with The Commodores and his solo career, is sung now by teen flavor of the month Justin Bieber (who at press time had less Facebook fans than a random onion ring). In the most egregious of sins, the legendary Bob Dylan is replaced by an auto-tuned Lil Wayne.
And that’s the third, and most important, problem: the use of auto-tune. I’ve already written about how auto-tune kills the emotion of a song and “We Are the World: 25 for Haiti” proves this fact true once again. When Wyclef Jean sings in Creole, you can hear the pain in his voice as he laments the utter destruction of his homeland. When T-Pain then auto-tunes some nonsense, the emotion is gone and the personal connection to the devastation in Haiti vanishes. For a charity single to work well, the audience needs to believe that the artists care about the tragedy and are thus pouring their feelings into this song. Auto-tune makes it impossible for an audience to believe that is true.
If you want to donate to the relief effort in Haiti, text “Haiti” to 90999 to donate $10. More money will go there and you won’t have to waste eight minutes of your life listening to such an awful song.
THANK YOU! Justin Bieber had no business whatsoever being there, neither did half of the other rappers and Disney kids, such as Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers.
I think years 2010 would be a good one for this beautiful star