In a couple of weeks I will be moving into my new apartment at school for the coming year. This will be the first time I will have a kitchen, but haven’t a clue how to use it. Cereal and pasta aside, my cooking is very limited. The art of cooking has been tantalizing to me since I first starting watching Gordon Ramsey’s cooking shows a few years ago. Watching the shows has certainly made me more aware of the kitchen’s accoutrements but I’m in need of some actual lessons.

That’s why I was happy to see a copy of Jessica’s Cupcake Café in my office. Baking is definitely a great skill to have so I was hoping that this PC game from ValuSoft would train me to become a master baker. The game greeted me and told me the importance of cupcakes in this fast paced, modern world. “Want to do something modern and hip?” Jessica’s mother asks me. “Then sell cupcakes!” Her persuasive rationale made me ready to learn the necessary steps in order to make scrumptious baked goods.

Could I Learn to Make These?!

Evidently, the game was going to teach me a couple of other skills in addition to baking. The first of which was how to read quickly. The visually appealing comic book-style opening sequence didn’t have any voice acting, instead requiring me to read. I have no problems with this, it’s a low budget casual game and reading isn’t bothersome. The only problem was that voice boxes popped up at a rate that five additional years of Hooked on Phonics wouldn’t have allowed me to read.

Luckily for me, knowing every detail about Jessica’s rescue of her mother’s failing bakery had little bearing on whether or not I would be a successful player. The game is a pretty simple time management game. You simply point to various objects around the kitchen and Jessica would automatically move there and complete the task. Fill the batter, put them in the oven, place frosting and candy on top and then give it to the customers in line. Although it might not seem so, the simple formulaic gameplay can be fun at times especially when you get into a rhythm.

As time goes by, you will be responsible for multiple cupcake recipes and will also have to fetch the customers other items such as drinks and candy. The gameplay becomes frantic, something that requires faster thinking to rack up big money to achieve an “expert score”. Unfortunately, I didn’t feel that any real skill was involved. You can put Jessica’s actions into a queue and just watch her move about the kitchen. At times, I barely felt like I was playing a game, rather it often seemed like a monotonous cartoon. My own actions seemed to be of little consequence, the result of which lessened my interest in improving Jessica’s business next to nothing.

Dammit, Hire Some Help Jessica!

If anything I was expecting the game to somewhat represent how cooking in a bakery felt, and maybe, help me actually learn to cook cupcakes. Although there are recipes in the main menu for cupcakes featured in the game (such as the enticing Chocolate with Red Butter-cream frosting), it does little to relay the experience of cooking. Despite the recipes, I am not in any better position to make cupcakes. Maybe I was expecting too much from a simple game, but I can’t help but be disappointed by the lack of a viable representation of cooking like that seen in the Cooking Mama franchise.

Although Jessica’s mother made me excited to make cupcakes, the actual task of helping her in her entrepreneurial task quickly becomes dry and tasteless. Unfortunately, my cupcakes will probably turn out the same way…